A Sickness named Helplessness
by RaspberryDevil
Summary: At times, one needs just a single dream for a chain reaction / After the FFI Arc: Fidio is obsessed by a nightmare. Unluckyly, Orpheus is invited to a party and he has to face his nightmare. Rococo has a different problem, though Fidio is not uninvolved.
1. Chapter 1

Hey there :3

I don't believe that I actually wrote something about that pairing but the idea didn't release me so... yeah, here it is. A little story with three chapters, i.e. a trilogy x3

Have fun :3

Titel: A Sickness named Helplessness

Part: 1/3

Mainpairing: Fidio/Rococo

Note: Beware Boy's love and a depressed Fidio

Disclaimer: Inazuma Eleven and its characters are not mine and I don't earn anything with it

* * *

><p>Fidio looked anxious at the envelope in his hands. He did not intend to open it but his teammates did, so he did not stand a chance. Carefully, he opened it by breaking the seal. The letter was written fair and beautiful with a lot of ornaments, therefore it was without doubt that the letter came from Edgar. Although they were surprised because they did not expect a letter from Knights of Queens' captain.<p>

"Are you alright?", Marco asked concerned. His question came not out of the blue. The other members looked at Fidio who had turned pale when he read through the letter. Gianluca took it and started to read, furrowing his brow after he had finished.

"It's an invitation to an evening party in England. Something wrong with that?"

"Maybe he does not like the fact that we have to wear a suit", Angelo joked after reading the invitation, too. Fidio awakened from his trance an responded with an embarrassed laughter.

"It's nothing", he tried to calm them down. "But thanks anyway", he added and left the field towards the dressing room, not giving his comrades a chance to react. Instead, they looked at each other, not convinced by their captains words.

"Look, what's written at the end", Marco showed the rest.

In small italic letters was written that not just Orpheus was invited; all ten teams of the last FFI final were it.

"This means Endou and Rococo will come, too. I thought Fidio was looking forward to see them again", mumbled Blasi. Silence. In the end, the whole team decided to forget about this and went to the dressing room. Fidio was already gone so the team changed their clothes and also went home.

* * *

><p>Fidio lay in his bed at home. Starring at the wall, he thought about the letter. Frankly, he had no problem to attend such an evening event. It was quite embarrassing for him to admit, but he was scared to see him again; the captain of Little Gigant.<p>

He curled up on the bed and closed his eyes. If he had to think of the meeting with him, he felt sick. Neither that kind of lovesick nor that kind of illness. His sickness was helplessness. Sometimes, he thought it was difficult to describe. The sickness came when it wanted to. It did not matter if he thought of football, his team, Mamoru or none of that. Every single word could have this effect. However it was not normal. His chest was burning, though literary, and his head felt like it wanted to explode. The only thing freeing him from that shiftlessness was sleep. Again, like all the other times, he kept his eyes closed, reminded silent till his breath stabilised and the pain disappeared.

* * *

><p>His eyes went from left to right but could not find a way out. He was cornered – and this time not literary. Not with panic but with shock the observed the figure which approached. The person, now standing in front of him, gripped his wrist and before Fidio could react, the person hurled him through the room. Fidio thudded with his shoulder on the ground, but he did not concentrate on the pain because he knew exactly what the next step was. The other one bend over him, pinning him to the ground and then, Fidio felt nothing – till he woke up.<p>

* * *

><p>After the amount of time he have had this dream, he was not shocked anymore. Muttering, he went to the bathroom in order to keep a clear head under a cold shower. This was one thing he could not tell his teammates. Even though he trusted them, he was not able to. But he had his reasons. The person in his dream was no other than Rococo and this was the point – he was scared to meet him just because of that silly dream. Fidio shook his head. He could not reject Edgars' invitation solely because he was not prepared to see Rococo again. After all, his teammates made friends with some of the other international players and he did not want to forbid them to meet these guys.<p>

Sighing, he got ready for bed and went sleeping without dinner.

He suspects that the next day would be horror.

* * *

><p>"He curled up, hoping that the feeling will get away. It was forbidden to think about that/ but he could not change it. It was a sensation he never felt before and –"

"Oh Marco, shut up", a sleepy Gianluca mumbled next to him.

Italy's national team sat in the plane to London, it was 6 A.M. and whole Orpheus wanted to sleep. Marco, their defender, thought a bit different so he had taken a book of one of his managers and read it out loud. Nobody was excited about that but none of them was in the mood to stop him. As Gianluca looked at his captain for a short moment, he recognized that Fidio felt uncomfortable when Marco came to the 'feeling-part' of the book. He did not know how to interpret his behaviour however he felt pity for him so he wanted to keep Marco silent.

"But it just started to get interesting. Do you want to let the rest unknown?", he complained.

"Yes."

A shortly, direct answer, not worth further explanations. Marco who was now annoyed mumbled something not understandable and decided to read the book by himself in silence.

Gianluca risked a short glance towards their captain, who was now looking out of the window.

He seemed to feel a little more comfortable now, so he did not worry about him any longer and leaned against his sit to sleep a bit – unsuccessfully.

"Why did we took such an early plane, coach?", Angelo wanted to know.

"Didn't I tell you? I want you to enjoy yourself in London. You deserved it."

A weak explanation for the tiered team, nevertheless an explanation so they kept quiet.

"You should be glad to do a brief sight-seeing tour. London has a lot to offer", Hide, who joined the group, not as a player rather as a friend, told them. Hesitantly, they agreed and tried to get some sleep which did not work although they were tiered.

"I'm sure you'll have fun and – " Hide started to talk to Fidio who sat next to him. But unlike his teammates, the captain leaned against the window and slept. When the Japanese saw this, he sighed.

"Something wrong, Hidetoshi?", Raffaele asked.

"I think so. At least it seems that something is wrong with Fidio."

The whole team looked at them, even Marco stopped reading.

"So we aren't the only ones thinking that", Gianluca commentated.

Hide looked confused what Marco interprets as a request to explain.

"When coach called us for a reunion training, he gave Fidio the invitation from Edgar. He seemed to be really worried about it but told us that everything was alright."

Hidetoshi listened in silence till the asked "And you were convinced by that?"

"Of course not. I mean, he was pale and ran away afterwards."

"It's more complicated than I thought", he hummed.

"You can ask him know. He has no chance to run away and has to answer when you all want to know what had happened to him", interrupted the coach their thinking. He had listened carefully to their discussion and observed their behaviour closely. As a coach he was worried about them, especially about Fidio who really seemed to have problems.

"So, who'll wake him up?", Marco asked as if they already decided to take Fidio to task. Again, Hide sighed but tried to wake him up without complaint. He shook him softly achieving that Fidio hummed soft and opened his eyes. He blinked for a moment, till he glanced at Hide in confusion.

"Fidio, we need to talk", he said serious making the captain feeling queasy.

"Really? Shouldn't you use the time to sleep?"

"No excuses, captain. We want to know if something is wrong with you", Blasi told him immediately. Fidio shook his head, again feeling this helplessness.

"I told you that everything is fine, didn't I?", he mumbled under the pressure of their gazes.

"And you think we'll believe that?" Fidio just starred, did not nod. Instead, he sighed.

On one hand he wanted to tell them so that he could feel better, on the other hand he did not want to because they should not worry about him. It was an awkward silent and it reminded like that because Fidio looked like a scared cat – a look they had never expected from him. Before Hide could say anything, the plane landed and they had to go off. The rest happened too fast. They drove to the hotel, went to their booked rooms which four people shared each and unpacked their bags.

"At least you can come with us if you don't want to talk", Hide appealed to Fidio. Without resistance, he followed him and in a group of four – Gianluca as well as Marco who shared the room with both joined them – they visit the city. Their captain said nothing on the whole way what concerned the others a lot.

Fidio was sure that he could not hide his fear of helplessness long enough but he did not expect that it would be so difficult than it was now. So he gave up, hoping to do better when they attended the party.

"Hey, Fidio, Hide."

Fate was not on his side. This was revealed to Fidio as he saw the person who called them.

"It's good to see you", Endou – lucky him that it was not Rococo – greeted them.

"Same here", Orpheus' captain smiled at him – or tried to smile. It seemed to be effective since Endou said nothing to that. Which did not mean that anyone missed that. Kidou who stood with Gouenji and Fubuki behind Endou recognized a change in Fidio's attitude but a glance from Hidetoshi hold him off to say something. It was odd but the so-called genius did not ask. If this was something personal, he had to accept it.

"So, your coach also decided to give you some time for sight-seeing?", Gouenji noticed and got a nod as answer.

"I see. So why don't we continue the tour together?", Inazuma Japan's captain smiled brightly.

Fidio agreed and so did the other three boys, wishing that Endou could cheer their captain up.

* * *

><p>It was late noon. Rococo, who sat on a bed in one of London's hotels, hold a letter in his hands, reading the last sentence over and over again.<p>

"This party is a good idea, isn't it?", Ryuu asked him in order to distract him from his grief.

A sigh was Rococo's answer however he lay the letter aside and paid attention to his teammates.

"When are we leaving?", he asked Goushu who stood in front of the mirror, tying his cravat.

"In half an hour", Windy answered him instead of the ace-striker and adjusted Rococo's tie.

"You really seem to looking forward to the party", Ryuu pointed out as he saw Windy's happy face.

"Sure. I'll be able to see Kazemaru and Fubuki again", he answered him, unable to hide his enthusiasm. Ryuu agreed with him, that it has been to long since they saw them the last time.

Rococo kept his joy within limits, what was not unnoticed by the others.

"Don't be so depressed. You're going to see Endou, you should look happier."

Ryuu and Windy did not say anything though they share the same opinion as Goushu.

There was nothing left of their captains happy–go–lucky nature since he has read the invitation so they started to ask themselves what could be so difficult for him.

A knock on the door interrupted their thoughts and Drago entered the room.

"Is Rococo finally in a better mood or still hopeless?", he wanted to know, reaching an annoyed groaning with one constant of the other three. Surprisingly, Rococo just chuckled, moved by the concern of his teammates.

"I'm fine. You can enjoy yourself without taking care of me", he smiled and even if it was not

really convincing, he was serious about it.

At the same time, Fidio and the others were at their hotel rooms and dressed up. Hide was always surprised how Endou was able to change a person. Fidio was himself again; smiling, talking to the others, in short he was perfectly fine.

* * *

><p>In the evening, Orpheus left the hotel and went to the arranged place of which they thought it would be an old fashioned house. Unexpectedly, the mansion – Fidio did not know any word that could describe this large house better – astonished them so they hesitate to enter. But as Inazuma Japan arrived two minutes later, they entered the mansion together.<p>

Edgar could not hide a grin as Endou expressed his amazement about the size of the place, not being the only one. Unicorn who arrived a few minutes before them grinned and some Brazil national players fight a laughter back. Even his own teammates could not stop to wonder about Endou's childish astonishment. The only one who was not smiling was Fidio and finally Hidetoshi knew what was wrong with him. His glance clung to the entrance where no one less than Little Gigant stood – with its captain Rococo.

Again, Fidio felt this well–known heat in his chest and the pressure in his head.

* * *

><p>Still present after reading this? I hope so.<p>

Hey, and this chapter was longer than my one-shot, I'm getting better X3 (Just kidding XD)

Bye for now :3


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there :3

I'm surprised by myself that I could finish this chapter so early (Yes, this is early for me XD Normally I need about a month^^'')

Have fun :3

Titel: A Sickness named Helplessness

Part: 2/3

Mainpairing: Fidio/Rococo

Note: Beware Boy's love and a depressed Fidio

Disclaimer: Inazuma Eleven and its characters are not mine and I don't earn anything with it

* * *

><p>"So", Edgar clapped his hands to demand everyone's attention<p>

"Well! Given that everyone is here, I want to greet you all. It is nice that so many of you had time to attend this little event. With this party, we want to show our appreciation to your football which you have shown us in the tournament. Have a good time."

There was no need to repeat his words. Without hesitation the attendees started to chat with each other – or most of them. Rococo, who still stood near the entrance, looked around to observe the guest. Windy and Ryuu already went to Kazemaru and Fubuki, Drago talked to Someoka and his other mates disappeared from his sight. He saw Jonas and Pierre, the captains of Germany's and France's national team, who had a conversation, and a few other players of both teams. He could not spot any members of Red Matador or The Empire what was a bit regrettable because Goushu was friendly with Red Matador's captain.

Finally, he recognized Fidio's gaze towards him which he returned naturally. They remained like this a while till Fidio averted his glance and started a conversation with Kidou. Rococo paused – Did Fidio really avoided him right now or was it just his imagination? He had no time to think about it as he heard his name and turned to see Endou who walked towards him. He shook hands with Mamoru before the latter one started to talk. It was good to hear Mamoru's voice, Rococo thought, but he preferred to talk to Fidio. Most people would say that he could not care less because Mamoru and Fidio were a lot alike – at least his team thought so. He dissent from them. Fidio was a completely different person to him than anyone could understand.

The first time he saw Fidio, he was fascinated by his appearance. Rococo loved his shining and challenging eyes which were filled with concern for his teammates. He loved his quickly and agile movement on the field, his skills with which he kicked the ball like it was stuck to his feet.

Yes, he really loved this guy. It took time till he recognized it. Particularly because he did not thought he could be attracted to a boy – and here began the problem. Not only Fidio lived various kilometre away but also was a guy; it was sort of a crime. Actually, there was no chance that Fidio would love him.

"Rococo, are you even listening?", Mamoru dragged him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry, Mamoru. I just... well...", he stuttered not knowing what to say. Endou, as happy as ever, said he never minded and finished his sentence from before. Rococo nodded understandingly what raised the Japanese a smile. He had noticed that Rococo was preoccupied so he said goodbye to him for the time being and went to talk to Roniejo. Little Gigant's captain breathed deeply. A short look to Fidio told him that he did not talk to Kidou anymore so that he could greet him. Even if he did not stand a chance, he could at least stay by his side. However, Dylan threw a spanner in his plans by pressing him a drink – thank god that it was no alcohol – in the hand so that Mark reached Fidio before him. The left evening did not continue any better. Rococo was always approached by different people and at once he lost sight of Fidio.

It was around midnight, when Rococo saw how Fidio left the saloon. He asked himself if he should run after him but was not sure whether it was such a good idea.

Dylan was the one who made the decision for him.

"You want him, right? Then you must follow him", he advised. He did not need to say it twice; immediately, Rococo followed Orpheus' captain.

"It was merely a matter of time."

"Hm, did you say something, Dylan?", Mark asked curious.

"No, nothing my dear", he answered with a smirk, so that Mark just smiled.

* * *

><p>It was too much for him, he just could not stand it anymore. Fidio sat in an empty corridor, leaning against a wall. He pulled his legs to his body, crossed his arms on his knees and placed his ached head on them. He was barely able to keep his eyes open, a result of the sleepless nights. Any time he has slept he was woken up by that dream and even if he has managed to fall asleep once again, it was a matter of time till the dream appeared and dragged him back to reality. He could not sleep and think clear therefore he felt helpless. This helplessness even affected his body – though he pain in his head and chest were just mental. It was useless. A real vicious circle. Why did he dream something like that? He has never had any conflicts with Rococo before and he never considered the idea of a violent Rococo. So just why...?<p>

Fidio startled as he felt a cold hand on his cheek. He looked to his left only to regret it immediately. The concerned eyes of Rococo, who sat down next to him, meet his sleepy ones and Fidio cursed himself that he had not hear him coming.

"Are you alright, Fidio?"

"I'm fine", he answered sudden and annoyed due to the fact that too many people had asked him that. Rococo was a bit surprised, but did not say anything. It was obvious that Fidio did not want to talk about his health, what was also shown by the fact that he focused his gaze on the floor.

"Your hand is cold", murmured Fidio. Only now Rococo realized that his hand was still on the others cheek so he removed it directly. The Italian looked at him from the corner of his eye's thinking how weird it was for a goalkeeper to have cold hands. He never really thought about it but the hand which slapped him in his dream was warm, not to compare with the other's one. Not that he would mind the cold hands which effect that his blood ran cold – strange to say in a positive way.

Rococo did not miss Fidio's look therefore he became encouraged to ask him another question.

"Why were you ignoring me?"

Fidio winced; had it really been that obviously?

"I don't know what you mean. You were always busy talking with someone."

"When you knew that, why haven´t you come to me? You could have join the conversation, nobody would have been worried about it. At least, I have tried to get near you."

Rococo did not really expect an answer hence he was surprised about the Italian giving him one.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Fidio paused till he continued. Although it was not his intention, he asked him the words which just left his lips.

"Have you ever used violence against someone?"

Orpheus did it – he was one of the few ones who were able to make Rococo speechless.

"Hell no! Why should I?", he asked filled with indignation.

"Don't know. Sorry, that was a stupid question", he mumbled sheepishly.

Fidio's doubts of his own sanity were strengthen. The other one has never used violence, so just why had he dreamt of it?

The concern in Rococo's eyes grew as he recognized that Fidio lost himself in thoughts. His heart hurt by the notion that his beloved one suffered but it hurt more that he could not help because he did not know what was wrong with him.

He sighed distressed. Truly, he wanted to try something but he was not sure if Fidio would like his intent. No, he was sure that he would not like what he was going to do rather he would hate him. But Rococo could not control himself anymore furthermore was it not okay to be egoistic sometimes?

Gently, Rococo caught hold of the other's shoulder, so that Fidio turned his head in order to look at him enquiringly. He was not able to see the concern or scruple in the goalkeeper's eyes because he act on his feelings and closed his eyes as Rococo bend forward to press his lips against Fidio's ones.

It did not took a long time to count as a real kiss but it last longer than just a peck.

Rococo did not apologised as Fidio blinked in surprise afterwards though he became flustered when the other one just continued starring. He thought that Fidio struggled with himself if he should slap him before he runs away or not; but none of these thoughts whirred in Fidio's head. He was to busy to ask himself why the pain had disappeared than to deal with Rococo. If he had not been that confused he would have sigh in frustration. In contrary, he surprised Rococo by leaning with his forehead against his shoulders. Indeed, Rococo was in almost the same manner confused about Fidio's action but wrapped his arms around the Italian's body when he reminded silent.

He was about to say something when Fidio hushed him with a little request.

"I'm tiered. Can we stay like this?"

As before he was not sure why he said this but he felt that it was okay. He sensed that it was right even if Rococo did not answer. He tighten his grip a bit what was enough proof for Fidio to close his eyes and to fall asleep.

* * *

><p>"Who are you looking for?", Mark asked Hidetoshi who looked quite agitated trough the saloon.<p>

"Fidio", was the short answer which Unicorn's captain get.

"He left the room earlier but no need to worry, Rococo is looking for him."

Dylan pointed to the entrance, what Hide thanked him with a nod before he left the room.

"What has he done that everyone is so concerned about him?"

"Oh, are you jealous? You should know that we all love you, Mark", Dylan grinned suggestive.

Mark just rolled his eyes – though he blushed sightly – and went to Ichinose, leaving Dylan behind.

"Oh, come on. Don't be like!", he called after him well knowing that Mark was going to ignore him; at least till they were going to return to the hotel room.

* * *

><p>Although the house was huge, Hidetoshi found them easily. He paused as he saw them, not sure if he should disturb their togetherness. But before he could turn around, Rococo already spotted him, trying to hide the smile on his face due to the fact that Fidio lay in his arms.<p>

"He seemed to be really tiered... so I didn't want to refuse him to sleep", he explained quietly.

Hidetoshi nodded understandingly and came up to them. He looked at the sleeping one for a short moment, till he sighed.

"You really are a pain in the neck with your fear to be an encumbrance to us."

Rococo just chuckled at his words thinking that this really sounded like Fidio.

"I think he should be brought back to his hotel room", Hide said hesitantly.

He felt uncomfortable to separate them but now it was the best for Fidio to lay in a fluffy bed – not that he doubted that Fidio felt pleasant in Rococo's embrace.

Carefully, Rococo stood up while he picked up Fidio and held him tight in his arms.

After due consideration, he averted his gaze from Fidio and looked at the Japanese.

"Can I go with you?", he asked unsure.

Hidetoshi smiled.

"Of course."

* * *

><p>Still there after reading? Fine, hope you liked it^^<p>

Next chapter will took more time because I'm in Paris for one week ^O^

Bye for now :3


	3. Chapter 3

Hey there :3

Chapter is finally finished, yay °o° Have fun :3

Titel: A Sickness named Helplessness

Part: 3/3

Mainpairing: Fidio/Rococo

Note: Beware Boy's love and a depressed Fidio

Disclaimer: Inazuma Eleven and its characters are not mine and I don't earn anything with it

* * *

><p>The last thing Fidio reflect on before he felt asleep was that he felt relaxed in Rococo's arms.<p>

Because of this he hoped that his dream would vanish like the pain did. It did more or less. He did not dream of Rococo throwing him through the room, no. Nevertheless he dreamt of him.

The pattern of his dream went like this: Normally, Fidio was cornered and slapped by Rococo, as a result he lay on the ground so that the other one bend over him and then he would wake up. He never asked himself how the dream could continue because he was to busy to handle the dream itself. Now, he dreamt again, but this time the dream started when Fidio lay already on the ground.

He prepared himself, thinking of the worst case – but nothing happened. Suddenly, he felt something wet falling down on his cheeks. He looked up to see Rococo's face with tears in his eyes, falling down on him. And then he bend his head down to Fidio's ear in order to mumble the same words over and over again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He kissed him soft on the cheek, only to continue with his apologise afterwards. Like a mantra he said these words, kissed him briefly and restarted. Fidio closed his eyes before he reached out for Rococo's neck and pulled him into an embrace. The words stopped though the kisses did not.

As Fidio woke up he realised at first that he actually enjoyed this dream in contrary to the one before. The next thing he recognized was that he lay in a bed and was holding hand with someone. The last thing he found out was that Rococo watched beside his bed – what means that it was his hand which he was holding.

"Good morning", Rococo said before he let go of his hands.

Ignoring the greeting, Fidio reached instinctively for the goalkeeper's hand, showing him with this that he did not want to let go. Rococo looked at him in bewilderment but did not say anything. Instead, he sighed and intertwined their fingers.

"What time is it?"

Fidio asked quietly, closing his eyes to enjoy the warm feeling – because Rococo's hand was warm in contrast to before as his hands were unlikely cold. This could only mean that he sat there for a long time which was affirmed by the goalkeeper's next words.

"It's eight o'clock in the morning", he told him, continuing with the next words when Fidio remained silent.

"Hidetoshi and I took you to the hotel around midnight. Hide was the one who send me to my hotel room so that I could rest myself and who stayed by your side."

"When did you come back", the Italian boy asked.

"Seven o'clock or so", he admitted though he was uncomfortable with this confession.

Fidio could not resist to chuckle but stopped to open his eyes and look around.

"Your teammates are still at the mansion. Edgar offered some of them, who were to tiered to return to their hotels, a room", he answered as if he suspected what Fidio wanted to know.

It was true. Before Rococo had returned to his hotel room like Hide told him, he went back to look if his comrades are still there. Most of the other teams were already gone, for example Unicorn or The Kingdom, but some teams were still at the mansion. Inazuma Japan was the most active team extant and his own team was just as well quite talkative. Although he had looked through the room, he could not sense any single player of Orpheus so he had asked Edgar, the host, if the had seen them. Knights of Queen's captain had told him then that he had given the tiered team some rooms so they did not need to go all the way back. Rococo was relived because he could go back to the hotel of Orpheus later, without worrying that Fidio's teammates would been there. Happily, he had gone to his team to tell them he would return to his room. They did not mind but had told him they would come back later.

After a somehow heart-warming farewell which he had with Mamoru, he had finally gone to the hotel room to sleep for a while. He felt really tiered nevertheless he could only sleep till six o'clock, then he was wide awake and had no chance to fall asleep again. So he headed to the other hotel which was fortunately just ten minutes away.

Fidio let out a sigh which sounded like relief, making Rococo giggle.

"What's so funny?", the Italian wanted to know.

"Nothing. Just thought that it's not like you to distance yourself from others."

A sad smile was formed on his lips – he know what the goalkeeper was referring to. He was surprised at his action himself but had not been able to change them. He loved his team so he did not want them to be concerned about his dream. So he dealt alone with his helplessness.

"It's not like you to be such a clinging person", Fidio said abruptly, looking to their hands, in order to avoid any questions. Rococo blushed slightly, sensing that now was a good moment to tell Fidio about his feelings. Although he did not want to because he thought that he would destroy their friendship, he felt something inside him that pushed him to confess. Maybe it was because Fidio had neither be disgusted because of the kiss nor let go of his hands.

"It's only because of you", he tried carefully, not wanting to go like a bull at a gate.

"The same goes for me", Orpheus' captain murmured in the heat of the moment.

"What?"

Totally irritated by his words, Rococo glanced at Fidio forgetting what he wanted to say originally.

Fidio, now realising his own words, turned pink and looked quite embarrassed at the wall.

Silence spread out and lasted for some time, till suddenly Rococo started to laugh.

The Italian starred at him, now only blushing flimsy, and if he had not have known the other one, he would have thought that he is insane.

"Sorry", Rococo apologised , "I just thought how you would look at me if I tell you that your face right now is kind of cute. And the image just made me laugh."

Fidio did not look like he imagined, nevertheless his glance was priceless so Rococo was not able to stop laughing.

Confused by his words, Fidio just starred at their intertwined fingers and all of the sudden he recognized how odd this whole situation was.

The kiss, their embrace, their touches – all of it caused a feeling he should not have.

Because Rococo was his friend, nothing more. Why should there be more? Even if there exist something more between them, they were both boys. Not that his family was against it, but he was not sure if Rococo's family would like that. Not to mention his teammates. His own team was alright – he know that Marco and Gianluca liked each other more than friends should, but it was okay, wasn't it? Fidio stopped his thoughts for a second – was he exculpating himself from his feelings towards Rococo? At the thought of the last part, he blinked in confusion. _Does he really have feeling for him which are stronger than friendship?_ Thinking about all this made everything worse and after all he just find one answer to all of his question.

"Fidio? Did I say something wrong?", Rococo asked his friend, looking at him worriedly.

He just shook his head, averted his glance from their fingers and gazed at Rococo. Not sure what the other one was thinking, the goalkeeper wanted to say something but was interrupted by Fidio.

"I'm sorry" And without another word, the Italian boy closed the distance between them by pressing his lips against the other ones. Rococo returned the kiss without hesitation although he was unsure about Fidio's intention – not knowing that his intention was rather the result of the answer for most of his questions.

"Why did you apologise?", Rococo hummed softly in his ear when they broke the kiss.

"Because I realised your feelings to late", he mumbled back, pulling him down into an embrace.

They stayed like this without thinking about the consequences for their relationship even as they shared a second and a third kiss. The reason for it was easy – their relationship was indefinable for their current situation. Fidio's helplessness might have disappear but this did not mean that he actually really loved him; Rococo knew that. They could just wait for the future because now was the wrong time to settle things. They just had one or two hours left and they did not want to miss them by talking about their feelings which were insecure in some points. At least they know that they liked each other.

That satisfied them at the moment.

* * *

><p>One week later, Fidio looked curious at a letter in his hand. But this time he knew already who the addresser was. With a smile, he read trough it feeling happier with every further line. Inwardly, he could not feel any better. Rococo and he were exchanging letters with the hope to deepen their relationship in some way and to keep contact. It was cumbersome but he did not dare to complain – their situation could be worse. So he finally decided to write about his dream – which had not appeared once again – in his next letter hoping that he would not be upset.<p>

Suddenly, the doorbell rang hence Fidio lay the letter aside and opened the door.

"Fidio! We're here to pick you up for training", Marco, who came along with Gianluca, exclaimed.

"I wish you a good morning as well", Fidio smiled benignly when Marco already went ahead.

Then he turned to Gianluca, who just shook his head, and greeted him before he took his training togs so that they could follow Marco.

"You look happy", Gianluca noted as they walked on the double.

"I am happy", he simply answered.

"Will you tell me why?"

Fidio looked briefly at him, then he smiled boldly and quickened his pace.

"Maybe."

Gianluca stopped running and shorttaken watched how his captain and Marco had a race to the football ground. A short time passed, then he smirked and caught up to them thinking about a plan to torture a confession from Fidio. After all he owe the team an explanation why he were light-hearted in the morning when Orpheus flew back to Italy after Edgar's party.

_And he knew that the other players would be glad to help him._

* * *

><p>Still there after reading? Fine, hope you liked it^^<p>

So, this is the end of "Sickness Named Helplessness" and I hope it was not confusing...

Still thinking about my next Story, so be prepared °0°

Bye for now :3


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